Hey Casey, it's your heart, remember me?

I spent the weekend in San Francisco at the Authentic Man Program workshop.  I went out there intending to help with production of the event.  Lucky (i think;) for me, there was an extra spot and they threw me in to fully experience what AMP is all about.  Boy did I get it!

AMP markets to guys having trouble in relationships or in meeting women.  Fair enough, this is a big challenge for most guys and a pretty good motivator to get in there and do some work on themselves. 

I personally don't have much trouble meeting women, or getting into relationship, but I am single, and deep conection can be a challenge for me.  I always thought this was because I had not met the right woman.  That might be part of it, but I uncovered something I had never known about myself that is a key contributor to this situation.

It seems pretty simple to me now, I close off my heart.  My core wound, or shadow issue is expressed as a guardedness, mistrust and defense.  I let people in, but only so far.  I have created complex systems of defenses to keep people at a distance where this shadow side of me does not have to feel threatened.  The result--I don't feel anything.

The expert facilitators at the AMP program have put together a brilliant series of exercises and experiences designed to explore the parts of ourselves that are hidden, in effort to achieve more wholeness, Integrity, appreciation and presense.  it works.

I was blown wide open.  I had no idea this shadow was coloring my worldview so strongly.  This is the singlemost transformative shadow-work intensive I have ever been a part of. 

I realize this is a state experience, and old habits can and will rise up and challenge this openness I am currently experiencing.  Now that I have seen what is possible, I am setting up practices to support this work, that I will continue for the rest of my life.

From this place meeting and talking with women seems effortless.  I am excited to explore deeper relationships with everyone in my life, and invite new relationships.  I am in touch with my passion and feeling it fuel everything I do.  It's good.  I recommend this work to everyone,,,,wholeheartedly.